[gleenn]

This metaphor immediately rang true to me but the article is definitely worth the whole read. There are a bunch of linked articles too which also have some very sound advice. I really like a tactic in hard situations which was saying "What I learned..." followed by "What I'll do is...". It makes someone feel heard and that you'll follow through with some action to make someone feel like you have akin in the game with their concern. I really liked a lot of other somewhat generic but still oft-ignored advice like lean in a bit, make eye-contact, and the title which is just that if someone is making you feel off, instead of just reacting like a thermometer and also potentially aggravating the weirdness, do things that help regulate and relieve those human tendencies based on feelings of fear etc. Excellent read.

[8n4vidtmkvmk]

You'd better follow through and do the thing you said though. If you start saying things when people are riled up and then don't do it... They're going to notice.

[gleenn]

I agree, when you say you're going to do something then obviously you should also do what you say and say what you do. But my guess is even just saying I learned you don't feel heard about xyz and I will try to pay more attention to you your concerns when you're talking about xyz shouldn't be hard to commit to if you care at all about whomever you're talking to. Hopefully they are a bit disarmed and realize you're trying. I don't think this is a silver bullet, and I think the article makes that point at least a few times. The point is to try and stabilize and correct the vibe if it isn't really justified. If you are going into a warzone then you probably need different advice, hopefully this isn't the norm though and you aren't a hostage negotiator or something.

[detourdog]

There is also a class of people that will always provide reason or task that is the issue. The list of problems will never end and they will never be satisfied.

Some people would rather complain then reflect on their inner workings.