[istrice]

I started looking into diamonds two years before I proposed to my now wife and went really down the rabbit hole of the chemistry, history, and marketing behind diamonds.

Lab-made was a no brainer, I got a flawless and huge stone for the price I would have paid for a crappy 1ct from DeBeers. My only regret is that whatever I paid for the diamond will still be way over-market in a few years but well, had to get married at some point. I guess I'll get her a golf-ball-sized diamond for our 10th anniversary.

[poisonborz]

Why and how became diamonds a necessity of marriage in the US? Did your fiancé really expect a diamond, and would have she be disappointed by something that has only worth to you?

[Spivak]

It's all kind of arbitrary, some things catch on. Rings as signs of commitment and everlasting love go as far back as ancient Rome. Precious metals like gold for the actual ring symbolize the same thing because they don't rust. And DaBeers had the right messaging at the right time to popularize diamond, a white stone that matches a wedding dress, is clean and pure meshing well with Christianity in the US, and was already mythologized as the hardest and unbreakable.

It's the same symbolism for why it's popular for guys' wedding rings to be made out of super strong, super hard metals.

People give DaBeers too much credit for what was an extremely natural extension to the engagement ring. Advertising only gets your foot in the door, it does have to be a reasonably good idea for it to take on a life of its own.

[dimgl]

Women expect it. It's that simple.

[GJim]

> Women expect it in the USA. It's that simple.

You will find quite a few cultures with bride prices and dowries that turn this on its head.

[hungie]

Some women in some cultures in the U.S. expect it. Many women in the U.S. expect a ring, diamond or not.

[tiborsaas]

Why do plastic/silicone wedding rings exist then?

[red-iron-pine]

commonly as placeholders, for people using their hands and at risk of de-gloving incidents that would seriously hurt them.

[wkat4242]

Hmm that sounds a bit shallow and materialistic tbh.

But I have to say I'm an outlier anyway, I've never been married and I prefer polyamorous relationships. And I've never had real money to speak of. So I'm not really the right type.

I do know the families with a big house and fancy dinner parties with Sunday silverware. But I tend to stay away from those settings :) I don't fit in and I don't even own a suit or dress shirt that fits.

So yeah I probably just don't 'get it' :)

[kelnos]

> Hmm that sounds a bit shallow and materialistic tbh.

It is. But the diamond cartel's marketing (at least in the US, I won't speak for other countries) has been so good since well before I was born that diamond = love, romance, relationship, marriage. For many, many, many people, there's an inextricable link between the two.

It's super lame. But it's how it is. Hopefully that's already changing.

[ninetyninenine]

It is shallow. Women want tribute or some sort of proof that you care. This is the true meaning of romance. Romance is essentially a man paying some sort of tribute to a woman mostly in the form of time, effort and/or money.

[hungie]

Can we avoid painting with such a broad brush? "Women want tribute" is a wild thing to assert.

[JellyBeanThief]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU has the high level overview.

[ninetyninenine]

A lot of women want some sort of tribute as proof of your love. It's common in the animal kingdom and diamonds are debeers method of capitalizing on it for humans.

If debeer didn't exist, something else would exist in its place, because the root of this is not debeer. The root is female nature.

It's better this way to artificially jack up the price of diamonds. Because then you can find people who are selling the diamond at an undercut price and satisfy the female instinct. Is the diamond mined? How would she know?

Otherwise if debeers didn't do this, women may influence the culture to latch onto some other form of tribute that can't be made artificially. Gold let's say.

[throwuxiytayq]

There's nothing funnier to me than reading Americans explain their worldview.

Just kidding, I doubt this has anything to do with nationality. I'm sure you guys have plenty of women that don't expect a cartoonish diamonds-and-gucci tribute from prospective partners.

[ninetyninenine]

No I believe in equality where I’m from. Men also want tribute from women. That’s why millions of men are receiving diamond wedding rings from women in America.

I believe in equality to the point of delusion. It is more important to be inclusive than it is to be honest about the truth. That’s my world view.

[sam_goody]

I would think Moissanite is a no-brainer.

It has a much better shine, is cheaper, and (anecdotally, in my circles), is just as cool.

Unless she wants a "real diamond", in which case lab-grown is no good either.