[changexd]

Well in this case my friend, perhaps sometimes it's okay to go back home? I have lots of friends doing this to them, they are burned out both physically and mentally, people usually have options if they can step back a bit, do you really want to sacrifice your happiness for working abroad and become "successful"? Only you can drag yourself out as you've mentioned your therapist's solutions do not work for you, it's okay to take a break, giving it up is not giving up, but a reason to look different path, you can be truly be free only if you let yourself free.

[gnulinux]

It's not possible to do so due to having my entire life here and nothing "back home" where I haven't even visited last 15 years. I have my fiancée, my cat, my house, my career here and there I have nothing. Would you leave your future wife, mom of your future kids, and go to the other end of the world to a country you last visited when you were a kid?

[changexd]

In such case, I'll talk to my fiance about the situation to see if there's any thing we can do, if this person really loves you and support you, I'm sure you'll figure things out, you want a person that wish you happy, or else things will prolly only get worse even after marriage and kids, worst case, you'll trade your years happiness in a burned out state for this "future" you rely on.

One thing I realized recently is "don't put yourself in a bad state just because you have EXPECTATIONS for future", because if the future is not what you expect, you'll find yourself regretting every bit of your action, and to keep this expected future alive, you'll push yourself too hard.

I really wish you the best.

[BlueTemplar]

Wait, did you keep jumping from country to country during 15 (!!) years or something, that you couldn't get citizenship in one of the new ones ?!?

[Neikius]

Maybe just get married and get that citizenship sorted eh? You are in a situation which obviously is exploited by your employers.