| Thanks for this input! I read an article once, about racism in the workplace, and how it creates a situation where minorities who succeed are harsher on people of the same minority than others are on anyone of that minority. I can't remember the name of the phenomenon, (or honestly the article) but it referenced an study done on successful women in the workplace, who followed that pattern as well. The general phenomenon was attributed to this general set of thoughts: 1. The successful person probably had some struggles getting to success, which were overcome. (No reference to help or not). 2. The successful person is has gained a tenuous foothold for the group, and is believes that they can help others succeed, but also worries that they might be seen as an exceptional outlier to the general stereotypical views the outlier holds to that group. 3. The successful person wants to get other people from the group in, but only knows the one path that worked for them. They also know the mistakes and have hindsight on "easier" ways. 4. Combining the fears about stereotypes, and the bits of wisdom they have, as well as the limited knowledge of successful paths (frequently there aren't a lot of other role models to compare with), they want to mold their successors into their understanding. The limited view, plus consequences of losing the foothold being a potentially big setback for the group, they tend to become very strict disciplinarians, as a way of maintaining the success path to a greater "beachead" for their group. (I know this paraphrasing of the article is not the best, I'm pretty tired, and it was a long time ago I read about it.) I don't know if this is what is happening in what you describe, but it reminded me of it. I'll see if I can dig up a reference, but perhaps just knowing about this will help you and other women at these events who are experiencing the problem you describe contextualize what is happening. Maybe it would help get the women who aren't being honest to open up about their mistakes and actual paths. A different tack on this same thing: it might also be an outcropping of the common "i did this on my own" image of success that seems to be the cultural norm for successful people to project: if they had help, they shouldn't admit it, perhaps enhanced by the fact that in the dominant group, imperfections (such as admitting needing a mentor) are less judged than those same imperfections in a minority. |