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Although I did not speak openly of "TI" I did experience this phenomenon. Following obsessive dieting and exercising, then into a batch of seizures, I somewhat rapidly fell into the TI abyss. I consider myself today to remain a "voices hearer", although it's gotten much better over time and I am mindful to get more sleep than I need, as that's been the most curative for me. That episode came on in 2012, and it has felt like it took > 10 years to fully recover.
It certainly wasn't helpful and to the contrary extremely reinforcing when the whole snowden story broke. This is a dreadful pit to fall into. Pretend with me for one moment:
You are single, you're looking for love in all the wrong places, mostly on OKCupid.
An employee working within the NSA has stumbled upon your information in realtime in a PRISM data slurp, and has taken a personal interest - maybe they think you are weird, and they are not above abuse of their powers - and that they want to exert their "godlike" powers to toy with you - surveil you, pwn your computer, screw with your mind, etc.
Keep pretending this is remotely close to reality!
What recourse would you have? Would a FOIA request ever validate your claims? Where do you even begin to try to reconcile with this, as a firmly held belief? ....
My voices are illusory, they require a prompt. It can be water running, it is horribly triggered in large crowds. I still have panic attacks in Ikea (but who doesn't?) ....
I got better.
It took 10 years of my life to get it back, mostly.
It takes a lot out of me to even begin to try to share any of this. I hope this post helps someone. You too can get through it. |
These days I don't have any harmful delusions and only sometimes think I hear someone calling my old name
And I've also been on okcupid for years. Hopefully you are not some alternate personality lol