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by cardanome 657 days ago
> None of this is easy and the post doesn’t seem to provide any insight into finding a good fit.

Oh it does:

> So it’s not that the world magically offers the lock to fit everyone’s key. It’s that everyone’s key has a bit of give, enough to fit the locks available. We screw this up when we assume that our keys are made out of Play-Doh and they can fit anywhere, or when we assume they’re made out of obsidian and they’ll shatter if you try to stick ‘em in the wrong place.

It actually warns about having unrealistic expectations what fitting in means and encourages to have some flexibility but also not too much flexibility. I think that is a good approach

> The post also conflates employment with happiness.

The article doesn't talk solely about traditional employment but has a broader definition of niche.

> And that’s just thinking of niches in the dumbest sense possible, which is “things you can do in exchange for money.”

Later:

> When I was thirteen, I got promoted to moderator of the “Flaming Chickens” forum of a Yu-Gi-Oh! message board, which is where people were allowed to “flame” things that they hated (stepdads, math class, low-quality English dubs of Yu-Gi-Oh! episodes). I was so excited because it meant I meant something. Was the job pointless? Yes. Was it not a “job” at all in the sense that it paid nothing? Yes. Did the forum eventually die because of an infidelity scandal inside the polycule of people who ran the message board? Also yes. But for a bit, I fit.

You comment could be more insightful if you had read the article.

1 comments

The piece sort of contradicts itself on this point though and explicitly conflates employment and finding one's niche with the tragedy of Nicky. Why is it a tragedy that Nicky finds herself employed as a consultant if she has no other particular career ambitions, if she can find her niche outside of work? The author even seems to suggest it's morally wrong for people to be employed in anything but their niche, lest they fall into, "build[ing] prisons or raid[ing] pensions or market[ing] vapes to kids."
I think it alludes to a lack of any purpose in life. A friend of mine was like that and she was really unhappy with that.

She had a job, but is was literally nust a way to get money. It wasn't a bad job, but it did not remotely excite her and if she was gone she would have been replaced within a week.

She had zero hobbies and nothing she persued with a passion. That didn't mean she did not have talents, e.g. she was a great singer. But it did not mean a lot to her.

Not sure if this is equivalent to Nicky here, but the tragedy isn't based on what we think about it, it is that these people feel homeless in their own lives. The relationship isn't causal in the sense of "people who have job X will feel like that" but more like "people who feel like that are likely to have a (to them) meaningless job".

The girl from my story got out of the whole thing by traveling and leaving her comfort zone, she got a dog that she wants to care for and that pushes her to do things when she normally wouldn't.