[drewcoo]

> "Wait, how is this different from every other peach pie recipe that's ever been written? It seems really similar to another recipe I have."

> That's not an unreasonable answer.

Pies are not supposed to be unique. Recipes are freely traded. That "friend" is an a-hole.

[mistercow]

Also the analogy just really breaks at the seam we’re examining because a reasonable and obvious answer would be “I like the pies you get from this one”, which isn’t a great answer if you’re talking about software. And recipes are a lot simpler than software, so your friend could just look at the two recipes and quickly see how they’re different.

[jajko]

Indeed if that's the response, you either have an acquaintance with 0 emotional intelligence that is by default like an elephant in porcelain shop in relationships, probably move on since its a lifelong effort to even just sustain such friendship.

Or its an envious a-hole since such message is clearly denigrating, still lacks basic emotional intelligence, and then just run and don't look back. If I ever saw 2 women commenting each other's efforts like that, there would be a fight soon or at least lifelong hate would have firmly started.

Normal response is for example a mix of appreciation of effort, curiosity about uniqueness and methodology, other recipes, etc. One can chip in other attempts and compare, that's how mankind lived till now and its considered normal human interaction (TM).

Bad relationships are much worse than no relationships, be it friends or romantic type. Many folks are very afraid of loneliness, but there is strength in it with right mindset for everybody (us introverts thrive in loneliness just sparingly sprinkled with quality human interactions, but others consider it daunting to the point of preferring serious harm)

[zer00eyz]

The people closest to you are the ones who are supposed to be able to tell you that "you're wrong" in the least hurtful way.

"Support everything I do blindly" is NOT what friends do its what sycophants do.

Your friend is supposed to lift you up when your right, and tell you "you are being a moron" when your wrong.

[teddyh]

Thinking that friends must always be supportive and positive is exactly Geek Social Fallacy #2: <https://plausiblydeniable.com/five-geek-social-fallacies/>

[ericjmorey]

This is black and white thinking and the reality is grey.

[jp57]

But the OP isn't talking about pies, really.

It seems like the main difference of opinion in this thread comes down to one's default assumptions about whether you expect your friends to give you honest feedback or just smile to save your feelings. Maybe this is a generational or cultural difference, but I think if you can't get honest feedback from your friends you'll never get it at all.

[jihiggins]

imo, only if it's asked in bad faith. maybe that's just worded poorly, but e.g. "oh, thanks! what'd you do differently with this recipe?" or w/e

[JumpCrisscross]

If I took the time to develop, write down and share a recipe, I'd welcome that question. Even if it's not original, there is variation among peach pies and I clearly have an opinion on it.