[dtbx]

I think she is a little bit neurotic, and she missed all the evolutionary stuff - that we are hardwired for social interaction.

I live an overly solitary life, and I crave for company. My social circle is nearly empty, no GF, and almost all my friends have moved to other cities, so I have just one close friend.

Damn, I need to go out. I need more human contact, not less.

[kstenerud]

Humans may in general be hardwired for social interaction, but not everyone is. In fact, there's an entire spectrum of need for social interaction, ranging from constant need to none at all.

[CamperBob2]

In her case, she doesn't seem to have any neuroses that couldn't be fixed with perspective. Instead of brooding about a perceived insult from some experimental poet guy she met at a bar, she could try volunteering in any number of capacities, from neutral social/cultural organizations to civil libertarian causes to overt partisan activism. You can't look closely at the lives and roles of others without seeing your own in more detail.

Somewhere in the Universe a supernova or a gamma-ray burst probably wiped out a dozen advanced civilizations between the time I typed 'Somewhere' and the time I typed 'typed.' Fretting over anything less is, by definition, sweating the small stuff.

[scotty79]

Brooding isn't voluntary. Bad experiences with people don't fade away with time and can return in flashbacks many years after when your mood is down for whatever reason. I perfectly understand OP as I'm also the kind of person that has this strange memory for people doing me harm by what for most people seem nearly benign act.

[CamperBob2]

Perhaps, but still, it seems like a lot of people are confusing the introvert <-> extrovert axis with the self-centered <-> socially-conscious axis. They are in fact highly orthogonal in my experience. At least insofar as it's possible to judge someone's psychology from a blog post, she would score far into the "self-centered" region of the latter axis, while being somewhere on the introverted side of center on the former... even if she doesn't recognize it.

I don't expect a leopard to change its spots, but at the same time I believe it's possible to consciously nudge yourself in one direction or the other on both axes.

[saraid216]

Evopsych stuff is still speculative bullshit, IMO. I'm rather glad she left it out.

[scotty79]

If you watch TV that might be the cause. It's like being second hand smoker while you are quitting.

I'm speaking from personal experience. When I was alone for prolonged time I noticed how miserable watching TV makes me. Only after that when I ditched TV the calmness and true peace that OP wrote about came.

Human contact really plays on the same strings in human brain as addiction complete with binges, hangover and withdrawal. At least for me and the OP it does.

[keithpeter]

Yup, get yourself out there, sharpish. Form/join another peer group. Is there a scifi writer's group in your location? Join it. If not, start one.

If you work in tech, start some workshops on something mainstream in your local coffee shop/community centre ('blogging for charity workers' or 'podcasting for beginners' or something)

[dtbx]

Thanks, will do something about it. I must.

[sukuriant]

Read the whole article. That's what this person comes to at the end.

[kahawe]

> I live an overly solitary life, and I crave for company. My social circle is nearly empty, no GF, and almost all my friends have moved to other cities, so I have just one close friend. Damn, I need to go out. I need more human contact, not less.

The difference is: even though she makes it seem like being alone might be desirable she then twists it in the end; in my opinion she is clearly a VERY social person with healthy relationships and a suitable amount of casual sex and lots of friends. She is coming from the other end of the spectrum, looking in the direction of loneliness with a sort-of "greener pastures" attitude. I would guess she is probably so very social and has SO many friends and hookups that a little vacation from all that stress of handling THAT many people is all this was about.

You, and me too unfortunately, sound like you are coming from the other end of that spectrum...

Therefore, from that perspective this article feels mean or ungrateful when you look at it like that - first world sort-of complaining about having too many friends and casual sex.