[MisterBastahrd]

The actual reality is that you worked yourself into the untenable position of being so hands-off with people that you need a social network to do what a phone can do just as well, and that's because most of the people in everyone's social network are not actually people that we care to stay in touch with on a daily or even monthly basis. You don't need a social network. You choose to use one.

There are people in my facebook feed who I haven't seen in person in over 20 years. It's nice to keep up with them and their lives and families, but if I lost access to facebook tomorrow, it wouldn't change a thing for me. I am friendly with these people but I don't actually know them anymore and am not all that invested in their lives.

[ryandrake]

It is totally possible to have a robust social life and keep up with friends and family without Social Media. OP just needs to put in effort and not hide behind all those excuses. I burned my Facebook account at least 10 years ago, maybe 15... I can’t remember when, it’s been so long. Yet the people who are actually important to me stay in touch. I don’t consider someone an actual “friend” if they are unwilling to even communicate with me if I don’t use social media. These people aren’t actual friends.

[em-bee]

it's not just friends. it's teachers, parents of my children's friends, my landlord. doctors, customers, employers, colleagues, even parents or my partner and other relatives, etc. these people absolutely do have the power to dictate which way i communicate with them (and for some of those people i absolutely don't want them to have my phone number if i can avoid it). same goes for groups, i may be able to ask individuals to switch messengers to stay in touch, but i can't move a whole group if that group matters to me.

the problem is that the choice of messengers is decided at the beginning when you meet someone for the first time. the person is not yet a friend but they may become a friend if you can only find a way to stay in touch. for me, as the more technical person in most cases this means that i must accept their choice of messenger, because i can't babysit them to switch. (though i do have counter examples where switching worked)

i travel a lot. when i come to a new place and i need to build up connections to locals it is totally not possible to come in and dictate which messenger they should use to communicate with me. i need to use theirs. only once i gained their trust and a friendship emerges i may suggest switching to a better way to communicate. but the reality is, that if i refuse use their messenger or worse are blocked from using it then i am unable to stay in touch with people i meet.

when i moved to china i long refused to use wechat. i was unable to stay in touch with most of the people i met during that time because of that. until i gave up resisting.