[mlyle]

That's pretty different from calling the kid with the obvious intellectual disability by the term every day as he waits to board the bus home.

And given that there's people with that experience, perhaps it's time to heavily discourage use of the word in general. Calling your buddy it to be funny helps normalize it for the people who want to use it to be cruel, and gives them cover.

[hollerith]

>perhaps it's time to heavily discourage use of the word in general.

Haven't we been doing that in the US since 1990?

[mlyle]

OK, so if we accept that something that is a neutral term can turn offensive (retarded) and that we should stop using it as a result... why not do it for other terms that have the same problem?

[hollerith]

Because your wife' brother's experience shows that tabooing a word doesn't prevent bullies from using the word. Or was his experience before 1990?

[mlyle]

Right around 1990, and I don't think the "really, don't say 'retard'" thing took strong effect until early 2000's.

Our culture's imperfect, but there's a fair bit of evidence that it's a kinder, more courteous world-- especially for youth-- than 30 years ago. Taking some sharp edges off language may have helped with that.