I wish you well, good luck! If it doesn't work out, I hope you remember this conversation, and that someone tried to show you another door. Life is about choices.
Your kids aren’t here to be “your best friend” or be your insurance plan for old age. Some of y’all need reexamine why you brought life into this world.
I have previously mentioned this on HN, but I did a stint as a Guardian ad Litem, acting as a disinterested third party for children in family court advocating for them. That experience, along with references like "This is a Teenager" [1] (among many, many others), has shaped my beliefs and how I communicate on this topic. If someone wants children, they had better be damn sure they do and they can do the job (financially and logistically). Otherwise, they have just condemned a human to suffering for their own desires and emotional fulfillment.
Edit: Based on your version before the edit, but I see you and understand. "Be the person you needed when you were younger."