| Several people here are saying something like "Life is too short to be miserable. Get out and be happy." I tried that. In the span of a month we had a newborn, I lost my job, the market went into the worst recession since the Great Depression. Later I lost another job and we had to short-sell our house. We got a divorce and it wasn't because of any of those things (though, they did influence it). It was because my default was to run away from my problems. Funny thing; the divorce didn't eliminate the stress. It just moved it around in my body and mind and led to near constant anger, anxiety, and panic spasms. I went to see a therapist who taught me to be present with what I'm feeling. (He practiced Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, for anyone interested) I did that in earnest and one day about six months after starting therapy I realized what a mistake I had made in giving up on my marriage. I reached out and we were able to repair the relationship and we've been back together for over ten years now, thankfully. We're closer than ever. I don't recommend that particular method of repairing a relationship, by the way. ;) It hasn't always been easy since we got back together but, it has been worth it. We were talking the other day--we talk a lot, important!--and we both agreed that at the start of our relationship, our feelings for each other were very intense. Now that we've been together for over twenty years (with a short "We were on a break!" in the middle) we find that the intensity of our love for each other isn't the same but it is so much deeper than it was at the start and only grows more so the more we're together. We realized that you can only get that if you stay and work on the relationship. |
The classic consumer-facing book about CBT is "Feeling Good", and a good consumer-facing book about ACT is "The Happiness Trap."
I share this because your comment may resonate with people, and I think it's important to understand that ACT is quite different than the more-common CBT.