Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by unknownsky 670 days ago
Lots of men seem to be in denial about what makes those 20% of men more attractive. It's mostly that they put in some amount of effort. Most women are only giving likes to men who write interesting things in their profiles and have put effort into grooming themselves and presenting themselves well in their photographs - ie men who seem likely to reciprocate when a woman invests effort into a relationship.

Since likes are virtually limitless, it allows the possibility to deceive. Most women on these apps have experienced matching with someone and then realizing he hasn't even read her profile. Many men don't even seem ashamed of deceiving women like this. Women don't want to be used or cheated on, and so many men are signaling that they will do so by starting off with lying to multiple women that they are interested. So of course women know that most likes are actually lies, and so women are very carefully looking for signs that a man isn't playing the field. The men who succeed are those who have profiles that manage to convince women that they will only express interest when it is honest and genuine.

2 comments

> Lots of men seem to be in denial about what makes those 20% of men more attractive. It's mostly that they put in some amount of effort. Most women are only giving likes to men who write interesting things in their profiles and have put effort into grooming themselves and presenting themselves well in their photographs - ie men who seem likely to reciprocate when a woman invests effort into a relationship.

It is almost impossible to fake your personality. The moment you meet person IRL it will become obvious that the fake Mr. Interesting life was created just to get chicks online. Those 20% are interesting, because they’re genuinely interesting IRL, not because “they’ve put effort into their online persona”.

> It's mostly that they put in some amount of effort.

I don't understand why so many people think that those who struggle to date must be not putting effort. Do you really think that in real life effort equals success?

Just world fallacy.

Nearly everyone in this sphere of life is victim to such a fallacy. I know many men who put in high effort and are not rewarded. Meanwhile I’ve seen men who actively sabotage and have women throwing themselves at them.

The world is not fair. It’s so obvious with wealth - why can’t it be obvious with dating?