[trh0awayman]

1) I know a few kids that went on to great schools that were addicted to various video games. In general, all of them are successful today, a couple decades later. In only two instances, did a parent actually have to intervene. One sent their kid to a sort of "boot camp" and the other grounded the kid for a year. Both of these were in high school.

2) Which game is it? Roblox is generally geared towards children - it's not exactly a mature game or audience. The gaming sounds like less of an issue than the choice of game. I would actually try to find out more about the game and what interests them about it.

My personal opinion is: hands off, supportive, but make your thoughts known - they are their own person and not every mistake leads to a life of disaster. If they got into a great school, they will land on their feet one way or another. But 19 is pretty old to have a video game issue, so it might be a symptom of other problems.

[throwawayigd]

> Which game is it? Roblox is generally geared towards children

some Tower defense game.

> But 19 is pretty old to have a video game issue, so it might be a symptom of other problems.

part of my concern, or perhaps there was always a gaming issue we just didn't think it was serious enough.

> My personal opinion is: hands off, supportive, but make your thoughts known

So far, this is our approach.

[CrimsonCape]

I played video games aggressively because my dad was never there. Sounds like you. Physically present sure, but just never willing to see me as somebody worth forming a connection with. A purely transactional relationship. Except from my dad's side, he is not the kind of guy who will be respecting me more than himself.

You have a lot of expectations and a lot of "fancy talk" about growing up, being an adult, etc. But you are likely a boring shell of a person who cannot understand that the things worth living for (like friends, experiences, fun, being cool) are not observably a part of your life; nor can your advice about career be observed as leading to the things worth living for.

What are you offering your son instead of video games? Here's a simple challenge: offer your son an experience that is so tantalizing that he sets down the game to participate in. If you take part in this experience, it will likely improve your relationship.

And for christ sake never use the stupid phrase "19 year old child." Have some respect for your son. He's you, and if you respect him, he will be there for you when you are a drooling invalid at old age near death.

Go to sleep tonight and think about your own mortality; you will die. Maybe you will wake up and see the world differently.

[dgfitz]

Anyone who has kids so someone is around to take care of them late in life had kids for the wrong reason.

I’ll literally sail off into the sunset in a metal tub before imposing myself on my kids like that.

[Daviey]

And here you are doing the exact thing you later said would be arrogant to do, you mentioned your kids as a bare noun without providing the age bracket as an adjective.

I however, agree that as the context of your children isn't relevant to the topic, it makes sense not to provide that context, however it does perfectly demonstrate that you either can't comprehend my point, inconsistent, or you are just plain arrogant.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41240943

[fragmede]

> some Tower defense game.

getting a deeper understanding of what is going on inside the game itself might provide some insight into what's going on