[codingdave]

> The accusation turned their relationship toxic

That sounds like a completely different problem. Bikeshedding is typically just someone getting caught in the weeds, and not a big deal to correct. Point it out, re-focus and move on.

If it turned a relationship toxic, or if people made such a big deal that it even gets described as "outright accuse", it sound like things were blown out of proportion, and there is likely a completely different root cause to the toxicity.