[kahmeal]

>I say all this as a parent of an almost 6 year old boy, doing everything I can to shield him from the wacky parenting style that seems to be the norm and provide him places of community and activities away from screens. He won’t have a phone until he drives, or maybe just a basic flip phone if we think we need a communication line to reach him when he’s a bit older.

This is possibly a bit extreme, imo. In a world that is ever increasingly digital, responsible exposure is without a doubt necessary; However, it seems that one could also inadvertently foster naiveté and ignorance of our digital reality, which has its own potential pitfalls. The "right" answer is probably somewhere in the middle. As usual.

[n8henrie]

What part of the above seems most "extreme" to you? It seems fairly reasonable.

I'm guessing it's the "no phone..." part, but that's what seems most important to me. Having an always-available endless entertainment device is a powerful drug. There is a reason we disallow nicotine, alcohol, and cannabis until brains have reached a certain level of maturity / development.

My oldest is 8. He rocks Manjaro and loves (open source) games. We do python lessons together, even though I'm only a hobbyist myself. But compared to the above poster I also have similar goals / limitations for screentime that we try (and struggle) to adhere to, and my wife and I don't plan to allow a smartphone for our son until high school at the earliest.

I don't think disallowing a smartphone is an extreme parenting move. But perhaps I'm misinterpreting what you thought was extreme?

[conductr]

Hard to completely elaborate on here but I think I am quite in the middle. It just happens to be far from norm. Or at least how i perceive it.

He watches some age appropriate TV daily. He started gaming but probably gets in around a total of 5 hours a month on the switch. It will be the hardest thing not to give into. Right now it’s not allowed on weekdays. And only with restrictions on weekends (eg. All other activities take priority). No smaller screens except on travels it’s a treat. He will get a laptop next year for school but I’m going to try to encourage PC use as a tool/utility and not so much for consumption/media. Phone might be hard but our current community of parents has kind of made a pact so I hope we can stick to it. We will hold out as long as possible and still put some restrictions on it. Thankfully he’s pretty logical and listens to our reasoning and understands the “rules” and doesn’t whine or get rebellious about it (thus far)

It’s not like we’re Amish or shun media.

[floren]

This sounds like the sort of route I hope to take with my son when he's old enough. We've already made it past a year without ever sitting him down for TV/tablet/phone time (except video calls with grandparents) but I'm sure it only gets harder from here.

I'd be interested in reading any more you've previously written on the subject, or any other sources you've based your guidelines on!

[conductr]

Good start! I feel like 90% of it is just putting in the effort and being intentional. Our son didn’t watch TV until about 18 months and the pandemic put us all in the house without childcare and our work went into overdrive. He went too hard on it for the first few months until we figured out how to balance things. We had no intention of starting that young but that’s how it happened.

I’ve not written on the topic. The main advice I can give is to always be prepared to channel their energy/boredom. We take a backpack of small toys and sticker books and putty/play dough into dine in restaurants. My kid really likes to know what to expect so we prepare him when we know he has to do something boring. Like we went to a funeral when he was 2 and we explained to him that we dressed up to show our respect and we have to sit still and be quiet to show respect. We told him adults might be crying because they’re sad. That’s kind of a weird extreme example but we do small versions of this pretty often.

Find ways to explain to them that even if other kids do something “we don’t do that”. This varies by kid and age. Be consistent and make sure everyone he is with understands (parents, grands, etc). Or set conditions, like only at grandmas or only on weekends. We set a lot of timers. You can play Mario for 20 minutes, he’s gotten to where he just says “yay! Hey Google, set a timer for 20 minutes” lol