[harlanji]

I was unhappy when I was an engineer. Not because of the job but because of my lack of self care. And I was hygienic and pretty social, had a girlfriend usually.

Something about being a homeless incel during pandemic makes me realize how sweet that life was. If only I’d advocated for myself more. Stuff like that.

Almost not homeless again. Working an undignified job, dish washer, and loving it. So much self hatred removed. I can afford a nice life with beauty, truth and goodness. Self determination. I feel they are just spoiled and their subconscience will bring about whatever they need in due time.