[throwaway81348]

>work exceptionally hard to even be on par with others, it's only my innate interest in these subjects and refusal to give up

I mean, you're obviously not mediocre at least at tenacity and perhaps discipline? Lots of people don't have that, think about it.

Then, how are you comparing yourself to others (leading question yes). You're employed as SWE, how hard did you fail fizzbuzz?

[tosmatos]

Indeed, tenacity and discipline is a very good skill. It's what I personally lack and has been weighing down on my career, and damn it, on my life. Should op detach his self worth from his skills in programming/math etc, he'll feel very good. It's another can of worms though