[Mz]

Oy. I haven't found that anyone of either gender acts particularly "mature" when you have them emotionally by the short hairs. I am female and in my forties. I am currently unemployed but previously worked for Bigco for five years. In spite of having only an entry level job in a pink collar ghetto, trying to figure out how to sidestep trouble with men at work took way the hell too much of my time and energy.

I found it especially annoying because I am celibate for medical reasons, so rejecting some man's attentions was in no way personal criticism. But I also did not feel I should have to tell someone I barely knew about my medical situation. Futhermore, I had reason to believe that divulging such personal info wouldn't have helped anyway.

[alecdibble]

I'm sorry to hear about that. I can completely empathize with how it must have felt to dread going to work everyday. Unfortunately, as this thread has shown, some people don't understand and rather rationalize.

[Mz]

I generally did not "dread" going to work. I am very good at some things. Avoiding this type of trouble is one of those things. So while I felt it was unjustly burdensome, no, there was not typically a feeling of dread.

I live with a dread disease. I have raised very challenging children. I was sexually abused as a child. In short, I have done much harder things. But having been a homemaker for a long time, I was surprised and annoyed to run into this crap at work so much. I was there to get a paycheck, not pick up men.

[mindcrime]

In spite of having only an entry level job in a pink collar ghetto, trying to figure out how to sidestep trouble with men at work took way the hell too much of my time and energy.

It sounds like the guys you worked with were going beyond what I'm talking about. I am absolutely not saying that it's OK to harass people, to propose "quid pro quo" situations, etc. I'm just saying that co-workers should feel free to ask each other out, within the obvious constraint of doing so in a polite, respectful and reasonable manner.

But I also did not feel I should have to tell someone I barely knew about my medical situation.

You're right, there's no reason you should be obligated to do that.

[Mz]

No, they weren't. I am very socially observant and was uncomfortable well before anything too obvious happened. It allowed me to carefully sidestep trouble, in some cases such that no one had a clue I ever had an issue. In one case, the man was fired for bad behavior involving a woman more than two years after I got myself very quietly moved to avoid him. So I have plenty of evidence that I was not merely being neurotic.