[ivm]

It's not universal enough to be advised to someone as a solution, increasing the already existing social pressure to have children, and also exposing both the potential parent and child to the risk of lifelong unhappiness together.

Also "spouse or children" – those are too different, Personally, I've been married for over a decade, but I don't have the emotional capacity to be a parent and desire to have kids in the first place.

[macspoofing]

>It's not universal enough to be advised to someone as a solution

Sure it is. And if it isn't, why would the suggestion to seek medical treatment be a more universal solution?

>and also exposing both the potential parent and child to the risk of lifelong unhappiness together.

That is a warped perspective.

[ivm]

You seem to not know anyone who was an unwanted child born because of some secondary motivation, and how deeply it traumatized them for life.

[macspoofing]

>You seem to not know anyone who was an unwanted child born because of some secondary motivation

Don't you think there's a difference between suggesting that someone start a family (and itemizing benefits of that life path), and FORCING someone to start a family? If OP does not want a family, they don't have to have a family. Geez.

[ivm]

You are the one aggressively pushing others to have kids with unproved statements that only a minority is not cut out for this task and that it will surely give them purpose. So the kids will become a means to an end, in your own words: "a solid reason why you should get out of bed".

This what leads to deeply affected people: being born and raised because the parents had some secondary goal in mind and needed children for that goal. Can be searching for meaning in life, social pressure, material benefits or even "our beloved first child needs a sibling".

[macspoofing]

>You are the one aggressively pushing others to have kids with unproved statements that only a minority is not cut out for this task and that it will surely give them purpose.

I think that's a statement of fact backed-up by a biological reality. There is always variability, and a minority of people, I admit, are probably not cut-out for establishing a family. Underneath all that is choice, you are free to choose one way or the other - a freedom that OP certainly has.

What is the aggressive push I'm making? Is it that I suggested to OP that the lack of meaning OP finds in their life, even though they have a good job and a comfortable life, is maybe due to the fact that they didn't establish a family so that they can actually give something of themselves to another human being? So that their day-to-day life isn't just about them? Is that advice worse than medicalizing the issue prematurely? Or to just find another hobby? Why not at least consider doing something that we have been biologically built for, that was a fact of our existence for eons?

Seriously, I do not understand you. Why shouldn't OP JUST CONSIDER it. You and I can't force OP to do anything. OP has already tried everything else. Why is that so distasteful to you personally, that you would rather OP seek medical attention, based on nothing, instead of having them really thinking about one of the most fundamental and meaningful institutions that a human being could engage in - starting a family.

>This what leads to deeply affected people: being born and raised because the parents had some secondary goal in mind and needed children for that goal.

We live in a society with a negative replacement rate. This is not a problem for our society.

[ivm]

I did not personally suggest medical attention, but it is something OP can try and then stop if it’s not helping. But having kids cannot be undone unless one is ready to abandon them.

>biological reality

>negative replacement rate

>most fundamental and meaningful institutions that a human being could engage in

I perceive a particular ideology behind those phrases, so the basics of our worldviews do not match in the first place. If anything, the "biological reality" for me is overshoot and ecosystem collapse, so there's no need to worry about replacement rates.