[marcusverus]

Finding a woman is like finding a job--it's a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more likely you are to find someone who's a good fit for you. Life is not a movie. You are not going to bump into your soulmate in the dry goods section at Whole Foods. So get on all the apps. Do speed dating. Put yourself out there. Accept the constant, crushing pain of rejection as the cost of doing business. Just like in a job hunt, you've got to desensitize yourself to rejection, secure in the knowledge that every 'no' gets you closer to the inevitable 'yes'.

You've also got to be be brutally honest with yourself about your prospects.

Pretend for a moment that mate desirability is objective and quantifiable, and that we've got every available woman in your area charted on a bell curve of desirability. The top 0.01% will say NO to you every time, because they're looking for a male in the top 0.01% of desirability (i.e. Gavin Newsome lookin' motherfuckers with Marth's Vineyard money). Meanwhile, the bottom 0.01% will say YES every time, because you're a HUGE catch from their perspective. Somewhere in the middle are many, many women who would be interested in you.

If you're struggling to find women who are interested in you, the cause is likely either A) not searching in earnest, or B) you're over-estimating your own desirability, and thus fishing in unproductive waters.

[silverquiet]

It seems that people think I'm asking for advice, but really it's just the question that always occurs to me when people are questioning the falling rates of marriage and fertility.

Myself, I think my problem was that I didn't want the job. I'm not even that thrilled about having to work my actual job.