[Teknomancer]

I read three pages down in the comments and not a single person has suggested that you see a therapist.

What the hell is HN going on about with all of this; Have a family BS. It sounds like you're suffering some burnout, and it might be time to seek some help from a psychologist/psychiatrist.

Change up your training routine. Spend more time outdoors. Quit the dead-end tech job. Downsize and travel more.

Good luck!!