[silverquiet]

I was raised Catholic but lost the belief quite young. Not to be an edgy atheist, but it was basically lost along with Santa. I probably spent a decade trying to believe, but to no avail. I think having a chronic pain condition from a young age probably makes it difficult to believe in any sort of loving force in the world, and then a few observations about the way people who say they follow these religions actually behave will often further disabuse one of that notion.

[DagsEoress]

I'm sure I don't have to explain Christian theology to you. It's very sad that you have to go through this physical pain, as well losing faith as a result.

As for people who say one thing and do something else. People are fallen and hypocrites. I myself an still trying to do better, but I realize I'm still full of anger. I hope to better myself eventually.

Out of curiosity; did your spiritual life end with Christianity? Or did you continue your search?

[silverquiet]

I stopped seeing anything as much as a unified Christian theology long ago and now I doubt that any two people sitting next to each other in a pew are even really worshipping the same god; god is merely an idea that each individual holds in their head. I think whatever part of the brain that allows one to believe in the supernatural is simply missing from me, but I wish I was capable of believing.

[DagsEoress]

That's very interesting. But if two people are friends with a person, don't they have a different view of that same person? They might be friends with a different idea / perspective of that person, but it is still the same person.

It might not mean much to you, but I'll pray for you. I wish you the best!