[alien_robot]

> Don't be afraid of traditional gender roles and arrangements, and take pride in this accomplishment.

Maybe consider defying gender roles -- and not just those roles, all the expectations that brought you to this point.

The OP's post resonates pretty deeply with me - I've been disillusioned with my career (and my expectations of it) for a long time. Expectations met reality, and I, too, am unhappy with the status quo.

Okay, maybe lean into a family. Maybe don't, and don't buy into the traditional gender roles. Maybe find some way give up all the expectations you've had - and cultivate your own happiness in defiance of what has been indoctrinated into you your entire life. College, careers, marriages...perhaps all of these institutions should be questioned as you forge your own path.

Side note: I have nothing figured out. I have only just recognized that I am not fulfilled by my career and that working for $GIANT_MEGACORP in $PRESTEGIOUS_ROLE does not give me purpose. My extended mid-life crisis continues.

[caprock]

Indeed, it's an interesting and alluring point to defy. My experience so far is that it's not so easy to distinguish between misleading indoctrination and archetypal patterns that lead to positive long term outcomes. I try to share the things I've learned that have/are leading to good outcomes.

It's also interesting how mental framing can dramatically change outcomes. There are many people out in the world building widgets. Some people try doing it for the love of the widget. Other research indicates that fulfillment in building widgets only comes after getting good at it and practicing that craft. Then others do it solely to earn money for family, hobbies, travel. This mental framing for each individual seems very related to purpose and positive outcomes.