[pavel_lishin]

> Get married and have children.

This is terrible advice to someone you know virtually nothing about, other than the three paragraphs they chose to type out about themselves. The first part, fine, it only affects a consenting adult. But I always hesitate to cheerfully tell someone to go ahead and sign up for a minimum of 18 years of responsibility for a human being, a human being that you'll be responsible for molding into a happy, healthy human being - a thing that's surprisingly easy to fuck up to the detriment of not only them, but everyone they touch.

This advice is slightly more irresponsible than suggesting to someone that they get a face tattoo.

[caseyohara]

I agree

OP: "Every day feels like prison."

HN Advice: "What you need is an irrevocable, lifelong commitment! Get married and have children!"

[recursivedoubts]

Yep. Exactly.

[astura]

Sadly, it's the advice of the typical parent - bring children into the world to suffer for entirely selfish reasons with no regard for the needs, feelings, or welfare of the HUMAN BEINGS they are creating.

"Create children in order to cure your existential dread" only takes into consideration the needs & feelings of one of of the potentially many humans affected by such a choice.

Nobody fucking cares about the severe pain of the victims this sort of advice creates.

[recursivedoubts]

a teleological argument has nothing to do with selfishness and in fact i am recommending to OP immolation of the hedonistic pleasure-drive i don't know who you are arguing with but it isn't me

[pavel_lishin]

OP can immolate whichever parts of himself he wants, he's an adult, but it's irresponsible to suggest that he have a child simply for that one purpose.

[recursivedoubts]

Nope. No one is telling them this because everyone is either scared to do so or is trapped in a hedonistic self-oriented conception of happiness.

This is my advice, I am sincere in it and I feel that, given their presentation of the facts of their life, it is likely to be the most effective way to grow as a human. Note that I do mention that it will give them purpose and suffering, not happiness as they current conceive of it.

[rlue]

“Everyone who disagrees with me is wrong. But if you take this irreversible life choice that lots of people actually regret, I sincerely feel that you are likely to see the light.”

People shouldn’t have kids to soothe their existential malaise; they should have kids because they actually want to devote their lives to nurturing another living thing. They are not a prop for your personal growth. This is really, really harmful advice.

FWIW given the rigidity of your thinking, I would really hate to be your kid by the time I started having opinions of my own.

P.S. You being out here responding to every single comment without hesitation and not reconsidering your position in the slightest is a sign of bad thinking.

[astura]

>FWIW given the rigidity of your thinking, I would really hate to be your kid by the time I started having opinions of my own.

Can confirm, it's torture.

[recursivedoubts]

i asked my sons how, given the rigidity of my thinking, it was being my, er, son:

"fine", "great" & "awesome"

of course there are many issues with this poll, i will not debate that fact, but at least we now have some data to work with!

[antisthenes]

> P.S. You being out here responding to every single comment without hesitation and not reconsidering your position in the slightest is a sign of bad thinking.

Funny. You make a snide remark to OP "Everyone who disagrees with me is wrong." and immediately follow it up with "here's this opinion I disagree with that is bad thinking, because they don't immediately change it based on a few comments from internet strangers".

I really, really, hope you see the hypocrisy here.

[rlue]

You’re right; what I should have said was “everyone who disagrees with me is operating from a morally inferior value system!” but that’s not as pithy.

In case you’d prefer something more prosaic: there is a difference between stating a contrary position and implying that other people’s positions indicate a defective worldview from which they should seek to free themselves. Or, more simply, there’s a difference between attacking a point and attacking a person.

I would also add that your last point is a bit of a straw man. I can scarcely clarify except by restating my point: spamming a thread with kneejerk retorts instead of taking the time to reflect on someone’s criticism is a dialectical red flag.

[pavel_lishin]

I have a child. I very specifically wanted to have a child with my spouse, and every day I'm glad I did it.

I don't suggest doing it to people as a form of therapy.

Your advice is bad.

[recursivedoubts]

who said anything about therapy? i offered only suffering and purpose.

[pavel_lishin]

Other people in the thread.

I don't think this conversation is useful past this point.

[recursivedoubts]

I agree. And I do want to thank you for engaging me in good faith and relatively politely despite your opinion on my advice.

[nunez]

You don't need to produce children to have purpose. This advice is reckless.