[voidUpdate]

I appreciate this is a personal question, but have you ever suspected you may have ADHD? I suffer from it, and it seems like our experiences are quite similar in some ways. I'm still trying to get hold of medication so I cannot confirm if that would help, sadly, but it might. If a test is easy for you to access in your area, it might be worth getting yourself checked out, or at least look at the experiences of other people online who have been diagnosed and see if they align with yours