[sublinear]

I'm probably not the target audience for this blog post, but if parenting humbles you this much you probably started a little too early.

> It’s not that I want to help a new human being for the rest of their life by sacrificing myself; no, I want something for myself, someone in this case. I want kids.

This part is the smoking gun.

> However, that selfish aspect of the planning phase goes away very soon.

There's nothing selfish about planning. If your plans don't hold up, that's a sign.

[kamikaz1k]

Is there an age where parenting wouldn’t humble you? Or is a precise degree of humbling you’re trying to get at?

And what’s the sign you’re talking about? It sounds ominous but I didn’t get it.

I also don’t understand what smoking gun you’re seeing. IMO selfish is used too carelessly by the author. It’s not selfish, it’s just a want. Wants aren’t inherently selfish. And in that frame, I’d agree with the author. In typical western nuclear family setups, choice of children is usually a decision coming out of an individual want.

The transition he talks of is also typical in that stakes go up very quickly when the process kicks in. A human life is given a lot of value (in all sustainable cultures), and dealing with that can be really intense…if you’re allowed to feel it while trying to keep the children and yourself alive, which is typically very resource intensive. But the joy the author is talking about is very real.

There’s a pro-natalist group that described the joy as being able to appreciate the world from your children’s eyes, along with all their enthusiasm for it. The world anew.

And in that frame I can see a case of someone can do it too early. But nothing the author said indicated that to me.

[sublinear]

> Is there an age where parenting wouldn’t humble you?

I don't think there's a specific age. It's different for everyone. There should be a point in life when you have it good and know how to keep it that way. You need to have been through enough ups and downs yourself that kids are no longer a "sacrifice".

> the joy as being able to appreciate the world from your children’s eyes, along with all their enthusiasm for it. The world anew.

Yeah don't take this the wrong way, but I think this sentimental thinking might be part of the problem. The parent can find all the joy they want in raising their kids, but that's not really the task at hand. The locus of control needs to be internal especially if you're a parent.

[mensetmanusman]

Nothing can really prepare you though.