| I'm going to turn 50 in less than a month. Up until very recently, I had undiagnosed CPTSD and ADHD. Trauma disorders, not to put too fine a point on it, fuck up your memory something fierce. CPTSD in particular can cause emotional flashbacks, where you're not audiovisually experiencing the prior trauma, but your brain is playing back the emotions. Thus, the emotional dysregulation. I would strongly echo other people's comments here about therapy, a big benefit to me. I've always seen it as something with no stigma - you are just adding tools to your mental toolbelt. There is a good book by Pete Walker on complex PTSD; it may be worth a buy to see if it sounds familiar to you. I also would suggest to you this: one of the best slogans I've ever heard is that we don't see other people's films, we see their highlight reels. You may have 100 different places you want to go. You may think everyone is going to each of their 100 different places. But be kind to yourself. Believe it or not, it's not just an emotionally kind idea, it's a good one from a productivity viewpoint. If you're attacking yourself, you're putting yourself into fight-flight mode, and that redirects a lot of blood flow towards the more reactionary, less cognitive parts of your brain. Higher-order thinking is actually easier when you are not attacking yourself. Hope this is helpful. |