[shrub]

Imagine having nothing that you love to do, and imagine the things that you previously loved to do are now laborious and draining, no matter the positive things you tell yourself about them. Think of something you really enjoy doing, and really look forward to, now imagine replacing the positive anticipation with dread instead. Imagine knowing you should be getting positive feedback from some accomplishment or activity, but all that your brain and emotions register is "meh." It's not that you don't try to pull it together and keep slogging forward every day, achieving things and smiling at people, it's just that none of your efforts ever seem to pay off emotionally. It's not that you don't recognize and routinely count your blessings, but rather the very act becomes negative as you lament not feeling much of anything for them. I understand the sentiment that it's hard to imagine, I hope this description may help.