[nerdile]

The point is that in the scenario being described, where the woman feels she needs "permission", the man's perspective is... if you were taking this, what does that say about ME? What does that say about what you think about ME? The decision would be about him, not her. How could it be about her? Wait, if it's not about ME, who else do you need this for? MY wife would never need such a thing.

It is easy to avoid stigma and shame through denial. The woman would be well aware that he would not approve such a thing and would take it in secret.