What marketing? The only thing Starlink says about it is:
> Starlink Mini is a compact, portable kit that can easily fit in a backpack, designed to provide high-speed, low-latency internet on the go.
In no way whatsoever is this marketed as a replacement for a satellite messenger or a PLB. I think the chance of somebody getting only this and ending up in a pickle is much lower than that of somebody just outright bringing nothing at all. Besides that, all recent iPhones support satellite SOS these days, and with Starlink direct to cell, all other phones will likely catch up very soon.
And why does the fact that backpackers are mentioned as one possible user group enrage you so much? Have you considered that people enjoy the outdoors in all kinds of ways, some very different from you, and maybe that includes internet access? Again, nobody has to use it!
This is a very short sided view. Something like this could save a bunch of lives of hikers because it means you are always connected when you need to be in case you get injured or lost.
Satellite phones have existed for decades. They are expensive and data speeds are slow but if you are talking about for emergency use then a satellite phone is smaller, cheaper, and more practical than Starlink.
If you need high speed data in the middle on nowhere then Starlink is great
For emergency communications (i.e. calling SAR or maybe getting a doctor's opinion on whether you should), satellite messengers do just fine, and they're much cheaper. Newer iPhones even have this built-in!
Data speeds are measured in a handful of bits per second, though.
That's an unrealistic view. It's unlikely. Firstly because we already have well defined systems for that which are tested in the field and are specifically designed for it and emergency routing (InReach for example). Secondly a lot of places people tend to go backpacking have limited search and rescue capabilities so you're not guaranteed a rescue anyway. Thirdly a lot of places it'll get stolen before it gets used.
It's a toy and another damn thing to carry around and a load of marketing around it to sell it as a suitable replacement for proper kit.
It isn't designed exclusively for bagpackers. That is only mentioned on the Verge article, while if you look on the starlink page you will find no such reference: https://www.starlink.com/specifications?spec=5
This is useful for working away from home somewhere on the mountains. Where you have a cabin, have some proper solar panels setup and doesn't make sense (finantially-wise) to keep a starlink installed permanently there. The other option is car-travelling, not everything needs to be solar and using electricity from a gasoline car works great while using little space on the storage.
It isn't meant as side partner for your walking hikes.
You're missing out on the second order effects of SAR being called out and putting themselves at risk because someone (who probably shouldn't have been out there anyway) issued a distress call.
Ty Gagne wrote a book about the death of Kate Matrosova in the White Mountains of New Hampshire[0]. The search and rescue effort took place in absolutely harrowing conditions. That was enabled by the fact that she had a Spot/InReach/equivalent.
People backstopping their safety on extremely limited SAR resources and an assumption of being able to get them deployed in the first place is not an overall improvement in the safety of hikers or the people who stick their necks out getting them out of trouble.
I don't care what people stare at (I'm there to stare at nature, not other people), but blasting music loudly has been a thing on some trails in the US I've been on. People don't need internet for that.
On the other hand, while this is less common (in my experience) in e.g. the alps, and people will probably reprimand you if you attempt it, I've heard some mind-boggingly loud, annoying conversations between hikers shouting across switchbacks in a large group so that everybody can hear as well. That doesn't even require a battery!
It's a social problem if anything, not a technological one. But realistically, the outdoors are pretty large – you can almost always just wait a few minutes and let people that bother you pass by.
considering that this is an add-on, not standalone, and the fact that it would mean like 2-3kg of extra weight to carry, backpackers who hike in places with good cell reception are not the target market.
doesn't mean there aren't plenty of people who would use this.
eg: my mother and her husband live in a small town and use starlink since none of the local or national ISPs service that town. they also own a camper trailer and travels quite a bit now that they're retired.
the mini would be perfect for them. they could power it off the camper trailer's 12V, which would be a lot more efficient than going DC->AC->DC even if you ignore the power difference, and it would take up less space when not in use. they could also pause the mini service or use it as part of their home mesh for better bandwidth.