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We have a common account, each month we pay the same amount into it, we pay shared expenses (bills, food, etc) from this account.
We have separate savings and spending accounts, with an agreement that we each save a certain amount each month.
Things we personally want goes out of our private accounts.
Things we agree we want goes out of the shared account.
This is reasonable, fair and easy for us because our salaries are similar, but I can see how it might not be a comfortable arrangement if there is a big difference. We both have two cards, one for the shared, one for the private. If I buy a bunch of snacks, it goes on the private card. If I buy food, the shared. In the end, I go to work to provide for my family and myself, and I want to be able to buy stupid shit without feeling guilty, I need this to feel things are fair, I'm going to work, I want to reap something from it. I want and need these fixed agreements so that I can save up (on my spending account) for something and buy it without feeling guilty, and know my wife can do the same. (no, decorative pillows are not a shared expense, just like the hifi is not, sure, I move the pillows to get to the couch, and she has to put up with the loud music, but those are not shared expenses, because it's both something the other person would be fine without). |