[abofh]

It will entirely on you two. In my first marriage, we were both high-earners, everything was joint. We were high enough earners and neither spendthrift, so there weren't any needed discussions on spending/budgeting, and having "private" pockets was just an artifact of us having different banks when we met. Direct deposit to a joint account, retirement maxed out, invested at my direction (because I was more interested). Worked great, but mostly because we had too much to ever need to fight over it.

Second marriage, complete opposite situation, I'm the high-earner, she's a housewife (working on building her business, but let's just say the income disparity is real). Finances are more complicated now since I'm a business owner and the bulk of our pre-marital assets are in my (or my companies) name, but at the end of the day, the card I use to buy things comes out of the same account as her caried rds. I do have more control over the flow from my firm to our joint bank account, but from a "who's money is it" PoV - it's our money, it was all earned since we were together (even though we hadn't married yet); The joint account has enough to cover our next years expenses if something were to happen to me and she needed access to funds before whatever estate settlement happened.

There's no one-size-fits-all approach I can tell you to use. What I can recommend though is that you jointly track all your accounts in some tracking app, and sit down once a quarter to discuss whether you are both on target w/r/t savings, retirement, whatever it is you're earning for. As long as you both are on the same page, then you're fighting together, not with each other. Money becomes tense when people feel entitled to it, or don't understand your situation -- having both of your situations on the same page can help make sure your new toy or their new habit doesn't become grounds for divorce.