[codingdave]

> but I can't openly discuss moving companies with them

Why not? Do you believe that if you mention that you are evaluating the big picture of your career, they'll fire you or something? Then you are in a bad place to begin with.

If you have already decided to leave and there is no way they can offer help or advice then it is good to keep that private. But don't hide your goals and desires from the very people who have the power to grant them to you. Your reasons for wanting to move companies might be resolved by switching roles in the current company. Let them help you figure out whether or not that is possible. After all, good leaders help their people grow.

[andrewlgood]

IMHO, there are career conversations you can and should have with your boss and job change discussions you should not. A good manager should help you improve your resume and every year. They should discuss where you want to go with your career and how they and the company can help you achieve those goals. They should assist in your development.

I would not discuss a specific job change outside the company with your manager. You put them in the untenable position of trying to be helpful to you and doing their job in representing the company. If their are matters which cause you concern about your job by all means discuss them with your manager. However, if you are evaluating pros and cons of leaving the company it will most likely permanently impair your situation at the current company. Even if your manager convinces you to stay at the company, you have put them on notice that you are looking around and were about ready to leave. Depending on your role, that will likely cause your manager to look elsewhere when selecting people for key projects, advancement, etc.

Coming to a manager with a discussion about another job, especially if you initiated the search (out of the blue offers are not so bad), feels like an ambush. Usually the manager has little time to respond with a counteroffer and must use lots of political capital to make it happen. They cannot help but wonder why you did not discuss the issues that are causing you to leave earlier when they could have done something about them.