| Over the years three of mine self-selected. One died, one aged out. I'd say that in some ways, this is the worst method. you don't get any try-before-you-buy and sometimes smart people mean well but wreak havoc. It's a delicate relationship. You need to set boundaries. I've been put in the other side of things twice now, once by a committee which had me mentor a fellow at an IETF meeting and it "stuck" -and the other time he selected me. I'd say either kind is acceptable to me. I don't go out of my way to look for this role, and I can say that some life-questions are really hard to deal with because I am convinced there is no right answer sometimes. I say three self selected, but it's actually four. One it became more a mutuality so really there is three. Btw she's younger than me, which was in itself initially surprising but what she brought to the table was a formal framework for open-ended questioning and training on the counselling/mentoring front. I helped her get the quals by being the guinea-pig, and that turned out to be mutually beneficial. I would be open to "mentoring" being with people who are NOT in your primary field, who are not necessarily older than you and who may not share life experiences. In some ways, the mutuality is the best bit: being asked and asking questions is surprisingly informative both sides. Or, to it being a paid relationship such as with a mental health professional. (which I also do) Frankly, much "advice" from people in prior economic situations is not helpful in the modern job market. You wouldn't expect somebody who worked in Hitachi for 55 years from a cadetship to understand FAANG culture, and vice-versa. So bear in mind that a lot of the wisdom of the ancients is from different job markets, different situations. |