[scarab92]

There’s a strange hostility in your comment that doesn’t seem to make sense.

Nice guys can become resentful when their kindness isn’t reciprocated in environments where reciprocity is a reasonable expectation, but that I don’t see how that makes them jerks nor does it make being nice a red flag.

Just know that if someone is nice to you that they are likely to expect to be treated how they treat you and either meet that expectation or turn down their assistance in the first instance.

[stvltvs]

I first heard the term Nice Guy from the dating world to describe guys who expect women to have sex with them, date them, etc. if they treat the women nicely. Like others have said, quid pro quo obligation. I haven't noticed this in the workplace, but maybe I wasn't paying attention.

[convolvatron]

i dont think grandparent is talking about actual niceness. just sort of a quid-pro-quo where we do and say awful things, and expect that we'll all just pretend that everything is pleasant.

[itsoktocry]

>There’s a strange hostility in your comment that doesn’t seem to make sense.

It doesn't. Sure, there's such things as being "phony nice". But unsociable people tend to over-analyze others and do a ton of projection. The idea that "nice guys" are sociopaths trying to game you is, well, way too cynical for me and my life experience. Some people are just nice.