[hn_version_0023]

As a fairly hirsute gentleman, a bidet has been life changing for me. I am so much cleaner— the only way to be even cleaner would be to get in the shower! Now maybe that is all in my head?

But honestly if you’ve ever tried to clean, say, peanut butter out of a shag carpet using only dry paper… well you have some ideas of what my struggle has been. With apologies for the graphic image; hopefully it elicits a chuckle from someone :)

[ralferoo]

I've posted below about squat toilets, but you might want to try them if they are an option. Honestly, I'd glad I practiced a bit and learned to balance in a squat than have to sit on the (usually filthy) seats in most public toilets. But one of the most interesting things is that when you squat, your posterior is in a much more suitable position for the activity and there's a lot less cleanup required. Not always, but fairly often, the first wipe already results in such a clean tissue that you don't even need to bother with a second wipe. YMMV of course, and it also depends what you've been eating!

[bhy]

Is it true that some people are genetically unable to squat?

[thfuran]

I imagine anyone born without legs would find it difficult, but that's generally a pre-birth injury rather than a genetic condition.

[meristohm]

Some of the best, minimal-cleanup shits I've had were in Japan on a squat toilet. Also in the woods, over a cat hole; the ergonomics of squatting to poop work in our favor.

[01HNNWZ0MV43FF]

That might explain why I got bored with my COVID bidet and switched back to toilet paper - after COVID I got laser hair removal in the uh bidet region

[acjohnson55]

This is gotta be one of the funniest HN comments I've seen in my decade+ here.

I'll happily accept my downvotes for this meta commentary.

[ethbr1]

As the book quips, "Everyone Poops"

[soderfoo]

I suffer the same affliction. When a bidet isn't available, baby wipes work.

Paired with hair removal, my quality of life has increased greatly.

[karmajunkie]

right there with you, pal…

but honestly, it shouldn’t be a difficult concept for people to grasp. if a bird shit on your arm, would you wipe it off with a dry paper towel?

[dclowd9901]

I’m sorry but that description was laugh out loud hilarious. Felt like I was reading David Sedaris.