| > For the US - and actually a good deal of Europe too - terrible urban and street (stroad, rather) design makes it dangerous and impractical to bike as a child. Hmm, tbh. I would consider it impractical for a child then! Aren't they sort of trapped then? I grew up in the suburbs and then moved to the cities big and small and biking was always ok. I think it's generally easier in the city without adequate infrastructure as cars are not that fast but in the suburbs there's more room for infrastructure like bike-paths. How is it in the US? Or are the distances just too far (you can still cover a lot of distance in 20-30 min bike rides!) > And - this is something my mom tells me at least - two income households becoming the norm means you don't have that safety net of moms (it was almost always moms) with an eye out the window that you could run to in case somebody was badly hurt. Well, I think that depends on the age. The older you get the more I could do. When I am at a lake/public swimming pool etc. there's no mom nearby. It was a 20-40min bike ride! I think i could just gradually do more until I was 18 and could go everywhere anyway. And when I was young I was only allowed on a few spots nearby. There's a big difference between 8 and 12. But we were certainly allowed to go into parts of "our" forest, there were also trails for mountain bikes there. BUT I still don't understand it! So, it's dangerous because you have a lot of (I am assuming higher-speed?) roads, so kids often can't bike. So I am assuming somebody has to drive somebody always somewhere. It really sounds like a full time job, I had sports and piano lessons and friends and from what I understand US kids do a lot of activities like this. My mom would constantly have to play taxi? But the amount of time this would take...I think this would be either straight up impossible or maybe only with a part time job where you do the logistics of moving children from school to friend, from friend to sports etc. afterwards. Tbh it also sounds like a really annoying job for the parents but you also write that two income households are becoming the norm. So how do they do it if there are other things in life then constantly revolving around your kids (which I think is too much btw)? The only solution I can think of is something like a day-care facility for kids I would consider too old. Or are kids often bound to their house except if there's a scheduled trip with one of the parents? Are they really, really unable to do anything until they are 18 (or 16, idk when you can drive in the US)? I would not consider that a child, that is a toddler. My understanding of growing up in the US is mainly based on watching some episodes stranger things :D They bike a lot in there! Is this a totally unrealistic picture (in case you've seen it)? Oh, I just had another major question. My girlfriend was only raised by her mother as her dad passed away when she was young. What do you do in this situation? You can't drive your kids everywhere constantly as you're alone and also have to work. Right? Seriously, what do you do? It only sounds possible if you have a stay at home dad/mom who's only constantly revolving around the children. That's okay if that's what you want but I think it's unhealthy for both and probably also unrealistic for many. I really hope I get an answer I am genuinely interested! |
Yes, kids are effectively prisoners until they can drive.
Can I ask where you grew up (what country, or region, etc)?
That's really cool re: forest. We're near a nature preserve but I don't yet feel comfortable with my kids going on their own. When the 6 year old is 8 or 9 I might though. I see kids around 9 years old biking to school on their own here, but I live in Hilversum, which is on the crappier end of bike infra for the Netherlands.
And yes, it's an exhausting, soul destroying full time job (on top of your other full time job). It can be mom or dad playing taxi but usually it's mom. I've known wealthier parents who just got their kids Ubers too.
Stranger things is great, and one of the things that is remarked upon is how different the 80's were from now. This is discussed at https://www.freerangekids.com/why-its-hard-to-raise-your-kid... for instance.
Single parents (ones without a coparent, specifically) have it really, really, really hard.
Anyway you basically just described why having kids is so hard.