[bigstrat2003]

Also, "do what people want" is fine for your interactions with an individual. But it's not a viable general rule for language, where we need one single approach. I think saying gypsy unless someone personally tells you they would rather you don't call them a gypsy is perfectly reasonable.

[coooolbear]

Everybody, in fact, takes innumerable social parameters into consideration when you say anything, especially with strangers.

For the sake of mass communication where you can’t really know your receiver, you have to do your best to just communicate whatever you need to (i.e. ‘a single approach’). Choosing to use a word that is ambiguous as to whether it is a slur is a bit unwise. I think it is probably unwise to do the same in personal interactions.