[dijit]

Unfortunately the best insults are universally going to be ones that do not need to be looked up.

Bonus points if you can insult someone without swearing, i.e. “you exhibit all the virtues and characteristics of dipping your toes into wet cabbage”.

[lethologica]

Agreed. My newest favourite one is “You’re inconvenient to be around”

[delichon]

It Would Be So Nice If You Weren't Here

https://www.amazon.com/Would-Nice-You-Werent-Here/dp/0688088...

[sokoloff]

“Wisdom has chased you, but you’ve always been faster…”

[latentsea]

In my case, I think this actually just true, so it's not so much an insult as it is a general description haha.

[dijit]

That is excellent. I will have to remember that one!

[lelanthran]

"You are exactly as smart as I expected"

"If you practice, very very hard, for many many months, and do a lot of work, you might end up being merely mediocre"[*]

[*] Paraphrasing someone famous, I forget who.

[arrowsmith]

"Mediocrity is something you'd have to aspire you."

(Said to a couple:) "Neither of you could do better."

[dspillett]

> Bonus points if you can insult someone without swearing

Back in school (for me this is a _long_ time ago) there was a pupil who considered herself "all that" and let everyone know whenever possible. Our Spanish teacher once told her she "looked particularly bovine this morning" which she took as a complement… (in fairness to her, a chunk of the rest of the room didn't get it immediately either).

[bigstrat2003]

I think my favorite insult of the latter variety is from As You Like It: "I do desire we may be better strangers."

[Aeolun]

To be fair, things like ‘loblolly’ just don’t really need an exact definition to know that it’s insulting.

[cafard]

Barbara Tuchman credited Thomas Reed with "That man never opens his mouth without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."