[whoknowsidont]

> You can only catch a "fake" if it's situational and your behavior completely changes

I can't word this without being insulting, you can catch many "fake" behaviors, especially when it requires the social intelligence of a normal, young kid. I don't mean to directly insult or insinuate things about OP, but I don't know how else to contextualize that this is not some advanced social strategy or set of maneuvers that slip by people.

It's assuredly very, very obvious if not awkward for other people to deal with.

>Social relations and human behavior is transactional regardless if you're aware of it or not.

Most people would use the word reciprocal. Which has all the same presumptuous benefits of being transactional, but it means a lot more. It implies longer term, more involved commitments that generally, equally benefit both parties in a holistic manner.

Saying social relations are transactional is not profound, it's actually reveals a certain ignorance about how you view literally everyone else on this planet.

[Quinzel]

Reciprocal behaviour is what allows us to get along with other humans and behave pro-socially. But I think it’s a bit naive not to recognise that it is still somewhat transactional in nature. There are some situations in which we’re honest about the reciprocal agreement (ie, you provide me with 8hours of work, and in return, I’ll pay you for your efforts) and there are other times where the reciprocal agreement is implied and not specified but still understood (ie, your child is invited to a birthday party at a fancy playland, so you should provide the birthday child with a nice gift - no one ever tells you you have to buy a present, but it’d be socially awkward not to).

The transactional nature of reciprocity is also why I don’t participate in gift giving at Christmas. I hate that the expectation is to show our nearest and dearest we care about them by participating in mindless consumerism. I will spend time with my family, cook dinner with them, do games, be part of the festivities but gifting is not part of the equation.