[bravetraveler]

I haven't really had the life to afford taking anything less than serious.

Wasting time like this is all rather new to me. I don't mean to turn this into therapy, but while we're being honest.

I'm like the homeless lottery winner doing themselves in with indulgences. Now that I don't have to fight to stay alive, I'm spinning.

[serf]

this entire sub-thread and dialogue is like an advertisement for finding a mentor as quick as possible.

on one hand you're talking about how you made it without one, then on the other hand you're also commiserating about being a (metaphorical) homeless lottery winner.

if I was a young'n in the industry i'd read this entire dialogue as a cautionary tale in the same kind of vein as a Zen koan or Aesop fable.

[bravetraveler]

Definitely. Mentorship is symbiotic. I'll even argue therapeutic.

I lacked a lot of it through both work and personal lives. Simply left to figure things out. That, of course, had some impact. Certain skills are strong, others are weak.

I feel that's why I do well at SRE. Natural paranoia and so on. It also makes me goal oriented to the point of being nearly anti-social.

Overall, I'd say I'm worse off for my experiences. It makes me great when the sky is falling. It pretty much always is.

Due to that, I try to reflect and teach as much as I can. I'm one of the fortunate ones. While I'm here, I had to leave a lot of people behind. They can't speak at all.

That sounds like a war story, but aside from the 'atomic family', I'm really just talking about people who quit/moved elsewhere.

Filtering exists in the real world (work/personal), too - not just college. The things we do, and don't do, apply.

A weekly social event would do me a world of good, but I can't. That part of me is broken. Dress it up with work and I'm fine.

Helping people actually helps me. To hear that, no actually - my help isn't enough, was grating. It was wrong to take personally. Soft spot.