[throwaway22032]

Fair enough.

For me it seems to have some pretty significant downsides. Loss of fertility, permanent hormone replacement, surgeries, trouble dating and being accepted in society, never really "passing" unless you do it very early on, etc.

If it's the only choice for a given individual e.g. they'd feel terminally depressed otherwise, then sure, they should be able to do it. I wouldn't really call it good though, it seems like the best worst option.

Of course, if the stigma has no effect on rates of gender dysphoria then none of this makes sense because there is then no benefit in dissuading people from transitioning.

[TaylorAlexander]

Well, I’m trans. Loss of fertility is mixed. Probably I could stop hormones for six months and still conceive. I might do that in the next few years but of course that would be disruptive.

I’m not going to have any surgeries, but those that do seem to be happy for it so that doesn’t seem to be a down side.

Trouble dating doesn’t fit for me. My dating life is massively better, in large part because I finally feel good in my skin and now how to look sexy.

I don’t make any attempt to “pass”. I’m a non-binary transfemme. My gender expression is all over the place. I’m just happier with hormones and the clothes I like. It’s more about not trying to be a “man” and just doing whatever, including hormones in my case. All the problems with passing come from places where society doesn’t accept trans people, and expects everyone to fit in to rigid gender roles. That’s not a problem with trans people that’s a problem with society, and in many places people have realized that it doesn’t matter if someone is wearing a dress and has facial hair, or whatever doesn’t fit normal gender roles. On analysis it obviously doesn’t matter, but some places need to catch up. In the San Francisco Bay Area, no one gives a shit. From the earliest most awkward moments of my transition, no one ever seemed to care and no one ever said anything.

And my life is so much better. I feel better. I feel sexier and more confident, and my dating life has exploded. Sex is so much better without heteronormative expectations. I got so tired of that sex life, and now I feel so may possibilities.

So yeah, when you understand the facts, stigma is anti-social behavior and acceptance is the best response.

[throwaway22032]

I wish you all of the best in your life, but what you are describing sounds like a colossal pain in the arse to me.

I think that we are speaking at cross ends, as you are comparing life before and after transition, whereas I am comparing the lack of perceived need to transition vs the perceived need to transition.

That is to say, it seems clearly better to not be dysphoric in the first place, if that can be achieved. Especially considering what you describe!

[TaylorAlexander]

I mean the fact that it doesn’t sound nice just means it not for you! That’s the whole point about being trans is that it’s an individual decision and most people won’t want to bother.

Also I never had dysphoria. Still I had been on this path for a long time, and after thinking about it for two years I decided to start hormones a few years ago. I’m so happy I did!

And sure, lots of people have dysphoria and it would be better if they didn’t. A great way to relieve dysphoria is to transition! That is literally the medically recommended treatment for gender transition. That or in mild cases therapy, and time.

But I transitioned because it seemed quite powerfully like something I wanted to try, and having done it I realized why I had been so interested, so adjacent to it for so long. Because it was right for me.

[pwdisswordfishc]

You're still a man though. Messing with your hormones doesn't alter that reality.

[TaylorAlexander]

You’re clinging to a semantic distinction that is meaningless to me. I’m happy and I feel good, and your desire to simplify the meaning of gender transformation in to little boxes you can understand has no bearing on me or my life.

[pwdisswordfishc]

Good for you, but a man with self-induced gynecomastia who wears dresses doesn't stop being a man.

It comes across like you have some very sexist and restrictive (little box) ideas about what "man" means.