[s1artibartfast]

Is that what people mean by lack or respect?

Seems more like disinterest or a lack of friendliness.

[Just_Harry]

Not initiating conversation could be down to disinterest, yes.

But I think consistently refusing eye contact does constitute a lack of respect, if the person refusing to return eye contact has no problem returning it to the upper echelons of staff. And, having attended one of those grammar schools, I know that some of the teachers who refused to return eye contact had no issue with faux friendliness.

[s1artibartfast]

Seems like what is more offensive here is the power imbalance, where one group can ignore the pretense or lie of friendliness.

I could see that expectation being a form of respect.