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by wing-_-nuts 759 days ago
You asked for practical take aways, so I'll say this:

Get good at communicating and being vulnerable. I know online spaces will tell you this is dangerous, and that your partner might leave you. Someone with this sort of background needs to be 'seen', and loved for who they are, and the only way that happens is if they truly know you. Second, realize that your partner is not the sole source of all your feelings about them. You're seeing the world through trauma colored glasses, and it often helps to take a step back, take a breath and ask yourself why you're feeling what your feeling rather than acting on it immediately.

2 comments

> I know online spaces will tell you [being vulnerable] is dangerous, and that your partner might leave you.

The possibility of being rejected by being vulnerable is definitional... It's not being vulnerable if there isn't the possibility of rejection, it's just being transparent. So yeah, being vulnerable is dangerous. You might get rejected. But then again, you might get accepted, too.

(This isn't a critique of the parent, it's more of a critique of what the "online spaces" allegedly say.)

> Get good at communicating and being vulnerable.

Very good advice! (And the rest of your comment too)