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by soulofmischief 758 days ago
Well, I have specifically avoided having kids at this stage in my life so that I may climb out of the poverty class first. I'm one abortion deep already. I was not as fortunate as 99% of the people in this little isolated corner of the internet.

I was homeless from 16 to my early 20s. I suffer from multiple traumas, both physical and mental. I have ADHD and bipolar disorder. I've had sciatica, degenerative disc disease, gout and other issues since my teens. Most days I can barely walk. When I do have kids, I'm not going to get to be the dad I want to be, running around and playing with them. My parents are abusive drug addicts who were not present in my life, so I was raised by other extremely abusive people instead, who kicked me out into the streets for being atheist. So malnourished as a child that my friends would make fun of being able to see the bones in my face and body. I spent years living homeless on scraps of food.

I have to advance my career. Every single thing is stacked against me, trying to make me fail. I don't get the luxury of deciding if I want to take a week off to do so. It's a matter of survival, and I have very purposefully structured my life in such a way that I have a shot in hell at one day raising a child above the poverty line.

Believe me, this is not a matter of me not empathizing with others or understanding the complexities of life. It's a matter of prioritization and commitment. If I can make time to learn, anyone can.

And on top of all of that, I do in fact have to provide for my sister and her four young, expensive children, because she doesn't have anyone either. I don't get much free time, man.

1 comments

I'm sorry you had to go through all of this. I think your bias is your responsibility is 100% financial so is aligned with always spending more time for your career. For most people financial/career responsibility is only a part, ignoring the rest is as impossible as you putting your career aside.
That's a good point. I do experience the boundaries, I spent the majority of the last 8 years alone and was solely focused on work and hobbies. It was a very productive time for me. Now that I'm in a longer-term relationship again, my productivity has seen a major reduction. It's exacerbated by the fact that I am extremely productivity-focused, but my significant other wants to relax in her free time.

I'm still learning where I should set boundaries on both sides of the field, and this will probably be something I continue to struggle with for some time.