[sircastor]

Respectfully, I think you’re limiting the valuation to just the culturally propagated version of “caring”.

Some people wake up naturally in the morning. Some people need an alarm. They can both care deeply about the reason they’re waking up (a job, an appointment, whatever) but for some people, they need the extra help.

For some, setting the reminder is the effort and energy that shows you care. It’s worth saying though that the most important thing is doing the things that show your partner that you care.

[outop]

Waking up on time is an end in itself. The point is not to show that you have made an effort.

For some other things that we might try to do, the point is to make an effort.

[pinusc]

I would say using this app to try and surprise/do nice things for your partner is, in fact, making an effort: going out of your way to think of nice things to do with them.

People are all different. The idea of getting flowers for your partner, or leave cheesy notes for them, might come natural to some and not to others. Another comment pointed out how having ADHD makes it hard to remember to do the sort of stuff this app might suggest, so it can be a great help.

Besides, is this different from scrolling through social media and seeing couples activities and deciding to try them? Is this different from seeing a florist ad while walking and deciding to buy flowers? If anything, going out of your way to install an app shows more care and effort than these "spontaneous" activities.

At any rate, spontaneity is overrated, especially in relationships (maybe because of Hollywood relationships?). Constance, effort, care, are more important... you still need to keep things fresh tho

[outop]

If spontaneity is overrated then why participate in a simulacrum of spontaneity?

This app doesn't suggest that you do longer term things to support your partner and make their life easier. It proposes that you fake being in a honeymoon stage by eg leaving cute little notes.

[pjerem]

> It proposes that you fake being in a honeymoon stage by eg leaving cute little notes.

Well, yes. And you know what ? Faking being in a honeymoon is enjoyable for both you and your partner. As you said, available time is limited, which is also true with your lifetime. Not doing something both you or your partner would enjoy because you feel like it’s not spontaneous is in fact wasting joyful moments.