[outop]

What "other problems in that relationship" do you think they might have?

Doing little surprises for someone, texting them to wish them a good day, etc, is a form of signalling. People like it because they know that you are thinking about them randomly, and that you care how they're doing. If you're simply using an app reminder to do stuff in order to grind relationship points, it has a completely different meaning.

[citizenkeen]

Two or three times a year, I schedule a dozen emails to my wife. Just little missives that say something sweet that I appreciate about her. I spread them out over the next few months, so she gets little reminders from me that say I love you.

When I’m staring down a long, busy day and she looks run down, I schedule an email a few hours later to say “Hope your day is going well, you’re awesome and I’m grateful to have you.”

When my wife gets the emails, I’m almost certainly not thinking about her. I’m usually at work focused on work.

Am I doing romance wrong?

[dewey]

> Am I doing romance wrong?

If it works for you then maybe not.

Personally, I think that if there's time to schedule an email, then might as well just send a quick text message. That's more personal and allows for an instant response. I'd also never send an email for personal communication like that, but maybe that's just me.

[outop]

Not sure if you are disagreeing with my comment but I don't see any contradiction. You are showing your wife that you are thinking about her and that you care about her wellbeing. The fact that there's a time lag between the moment you think about her and the moment she gets the message, isn't an issue.

[nozzlegear]

Why isn't "downloading an app to help us have a more unpredictable romantic relationship" also thinking about her and caring about her wellbeing?