[caprock]

First, you're not alone. The desires for autonomy and agency are a continuum and people are spread along it. It's indeed unfortunate that "software as a team sport" is sometimes treated as orthodoxy in modern business. You might enjoy the relevant section on Derek Sivers' about page:

* https://sive.rs/about (ctrl-f "love to work alone")

Second, you know what's next. You need to find a way to direct your desire to something besides your employer, on a daily basis. This is not a unique problem, but it isn't easy either. You'll have to decide (for the near term), whether that target is some alternative income stream, a more fulfilling hobby, or a mixture. Then you'll have to make the recurring effort.

Some people put in time on their goal before "work". Some people figure out how to mentally downshift at work. Some people just quit and burn the boats. There are many paths. It all starts with clear and concrete goals. Then try, fail, and try again. Good luck, you can do it.

[throwaway_32u10]

Thank you very much. It’s very helpful.