[doodlebugging]

I believe they're right about there being only one single electron. I tried to start my Pathfinder yesterday and it was dead as a doornail. None of the dash lights lit and there was not even a click from the starter. Someone else must've been using that electron though since I tried again a few minutes later and it cranked right up. I had my turn with it so I'm not mad at all.

[westmeal]

Um maybe check your battery terminals for corrosion :)

[doodlebugging]

I covered all those bases. I'm not 100% sure what happened but when I initially tried to start the vehicle I had it connected to a solar battery maintainer in full sunlight. It should've had bazillions of photons sacrificing part of themselves to be stored electrons but instead I got nothing. After disconnecting that from the battery and testing all the fuses I made another attempt to start it up and it worked fine. It's possible that the voltage output of the panel swamped the voltage expected by the ECU and it refused to energize to save the system from electrical damage by overvoltage.

Or maybe that single electron hadn't quite made it to my battery on my first attempt. That's one busy e.

[westmeal]

I find pouring electrons into a funnel usually helps by avoiding an electron spill all over your battery. Glad it works tho!

[doodlebugging]

So sorry for the delayed reply. I had to hit several O'Reilly stores to find someone who had any idea what I was looking for. I finally found one with a college-looking kid behind the counter instead of all those old farts like me and after I explained what I wanted he knew just which aisle it was on.

Turns out that an electron funnel isn't a fancy new tool. Instead, I already have several of them in my shop but just didn't make the connection. It became clear though when he handed me the plastic funnel after rubbing it through his hair vigorously for a few seconds and I got shocked by the crackling electrons streaming from the funnel to my fingers.

If this power thing ever happens to my battery again I'm just gonna get the big funnel from the set, rub it through the remnants of my hair and pour some electrons at it till it charges enough to start the engine.

Thanks for this suggestion about a new way to use an old tool.

[dylan604]

I wonder if that's how they get electrons into the particle accelerators too?

[doodlebugging]

They gotta get'em somewhere. Seems easy enough to do it like that.

[rkagerer]

Yeah but they just don't make 'em like they used to.

MBA's took over and cut corners everywhere - sourcing production from subpar isotopes, skimping down how much charge you get in each one, shrinkflation schemes packing less in every bag of amps, particle dilution with off-brand fake leptons... QA was downsized 'till all you got was beta junk that decays in no time. Now they just rent seek that single universal virtual electron, unlocked by keys you're forced to tie to the cloud, and it can be glitchy and pop in and out of existence from time to time especially driving through tunnels. Sorry to hear about your car, try upgrading to the new positron model on the roadmap for next year, they launched the presale NFT last week.